Asshole week

So my friend whose staying with me did an asshole test, but
its in french, and he claims that he was only a 19% asshole.
Frankly i think its closer to 90%. But who knows what 90% is
in french.

In the morning i wake up around 12, the heads up tournament
starts around 12. I figure i could go down and register, but then
i was going to play some games online which I can remote desktop
into. But that doesnt work ...
So i decide what the hell may be ill go and play the heads up
event. Then my friend, says why are you going to go down there?
Youve got no chance. Save the 5k. B "ill be down there in an hour
and ull be left with 3 chips"

I dawdle a bit longer, go down anyway, and may be luckily im too
late to register.

But im thinking may be i should spend a week in vegas being an
asshole.

Imaginary conversations from incidents ive had with ppl who ive run into

1) I see a lady reading a book sitting on the edge of a wishing well fountain.
I have a strong urge to push her in.
rk "sorry i didnt know you were only suppose to throw coins in"

2) Im eating a crepe , the guy is coming around cleaning up. like macdonalds
Your suppose to throw your rubbish in the bin. I leave the rubbish on the table. He
looks at me.

rk "may be if you provided forking forks that werent plastic, so you could
cut the crepes, id throw my rubbish away"
him "sorry sir, thats not my department"
rk "hey i always tip, perhaps if u save 1c out of each tip, you could provide real cutlery"
him "we dont get those tips"
rk "perhaps youd get a tip, if everyone didnt have to do your job"
him "your an asshole"
rk "at least my name tag doesnt say fking douchebag"

he rechecks his name tag i leave

3) i forget my room key card, and have to line up to get another one

hotel clerk "mr nathan this is the 5th room key card we've issued"
rk "im staying here for 6 weeks , get fking use to it"

4) i get into the lift , and the lady and i press the button at the same time,
it turns out we are pressing the same floor, she looks across at smile
(thats a funny coincidence)

rk "theres only 12 floors on this lift, its not that much of a fking coincidence,
and frankly its not a useful coincidince as your old and ugly"

life as an asshole, may be may be not...